Howdy folks,

I have some good news, which is that, after seven months, I’ve finally recovered from Long Covid. This is not something I particularly want to talk about in depth but it was the worst thing that ever happened to me! Anyway, sorry for the long period without posting that much, but I hope this amazing house (both laudatory/derogatory, that’s dialectics, baby) will make up for the three months I went AWOL.

BEHOLD:

Not to be over-exuberant, but I genuinely think this is the best McMansion exterior of all time. That includes all the messed up castles, the Mediterranean-style cult complexes, the Staten Island weirdness. Nothing, to me, epitomizes just how uniquely wacky these houses can be. The oversized broken pediment with the fat fake corinthian columns, the lawyer foyer transom window, the ultra-nub, the 45-degree angle, it is all there and it is all hellish, and none of it will ever happen ever again. Anyway this house is $2.5 million dollars and 10,000 square feet. Someone should buy it and give house tours to young people for whom this way of live will soon be unimaginable.

There is nothing so bold to me as the idea of a canted lawyer foyer flanked by two equally huge windows. The fact that the house is more populated by vases than people…something something a vessel for wealth, ah!

Someone on TikTok is going to find this house and set all the pictures to that terrible vaporwave nostalgia song. “tuscan kitchen [black heart emoji]” (as is their right, just like blogging is my right)

If you were a rich person muralist, please get in touch with me (patreon@mcmansionhell.com) I want to hear YOUR stories!!!!

I mean, if I had a giant mysterious wardrobe I, too, would be fernmaxxing (I am 32 years old and will not be talking like this. I am getting generationmogged and have to draw the line somewhere.)

If someone says to you “we should go to Venice in May” ABORT ABORT ABORT. you WILL pay 15 euros for gin and tonic. you WILL get pickpocketed or puked on by British people. you WILL be eaten by mosquitoes. Go in November when no one’s around and you can have a good cry about how everything dies, sinks into the ocean, one might say, and how futile it is to try keeping it alive on horrible wooden stilts. The gondolier will tell you wistfully about how the dolphins returned to the lagoons during the pandemic lockdown. Then he will look at you because their leaving again is your fault.

I hate putting the word “cuck” in this blog. Ten years ago, that would warrant an angry parent email. Now children say cuck to each other in elementary school because they learned it from a Charlie Kirk assassination fancam.

This is kind of like one of those 19th century galleries but for 400,000aires who mostly think of art as a piece of furniture.

I used to not believe in the mobbed up pizza place (no one likes an ethnic stereotype) but there was one I went to in Coastal New Jersey that was unmistakably mobbed up. Guys coming in and out of the back in suits, cash only, no GrubHub, no delivery. It wasn’t called Vito’s though. That would be stupid of me to disclose.

It’s so funny that for a month we collectively pretended that every man alive cared about the roman empire. Just the kind of cute thing we used to do online before cultural microphenomena became primarily driven by incel forums.

That’s right, folks, McMansion Hell is TEN YEARS OLD this year, and there WILL be a party in Chicago in July. (More details later.) Anyway, heinous back facade. What were they thinking.

If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams. (Don’t worry! This doesn’t adjust for inflation! Now’s the perfect time to join!) By the way: new subscribers can buy a year of McMansion Hell for just $12!

Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar! (I would seriously appreciate any and all tips because I am now, like, $3000 in medical debt from having Long Covid, a disease doctors and insurance companies famously believe in and cover. If you are the woman who hacked up a lung next to me on my flight to New Mexico, not even an N95 could beat your germs and I feel entitled to financial compensation.)

Anyway! See you next month!

I’ve gotten a lot of flack throughout my career over my disdain towards test-driven development (TDD). I have met a lot of people who swear by it! And, I have also met a lot of people who insisted that I adopt it, too, often with the implied threat of appealing to my boss if appealing to me didn’t work.

The basic premise of TDD, for those unaware, is that one first writes a unit test that verifies the expected behavior for some code they want to write, observes the new test fail, and then one writes the implementation, iterating on it until the test passes. The advantage of this approach is, first, to ensure that your codebase is adequately covered by testing, and, second, to provide you a rapid feedback loop to assist in your work.

I have often found elements of TDD to be quite useful. Using a unit test or something similar to provide an efficient rapid feedback loop is a technique which I have employed many times. However, I am and have always been skeptical of the cult which arises around automated software testing and in particular TDD. A lot of people adopt an unquestioning loyalty to TDD, building tools and practices and vibes around the idea. It’s often too much.

The flaw with TDD is that, while it ensures that you have a test for every function you write, it also exerts an influence on the tested codebase, shaping the code to be as “testable” as possible, which only sometimes leads to better code. Moreover, TDD has no means of ensuring that the behavior that your tests verify is the right behavior for your software to have. Software with a thousand passing tests and 100% test coverage could be doing whatever the user or the business or whatever needs it to, but it could just as easily not meet the requirements in spite of those comprehensive tests – and in any case it gives you confidence in your work, which may or may not be misplaced.

The cult of TDD exploits the fact that TDD is very good at making you feel like a good, diligent programmer. That rapid feedback loop not only assists in your work but also enables a powerful dopamine cycle. Add into that a culture of aiming for 100% coverage and you get the bonus hit from watching a number go up. Buy into the whole cult and you get a slew of new README badges to keep green, and lots of cool charts and numbers, hundreds of blinkenlights on your test suite, a bunch of fun Slack messages from Jenkins, and a cute cardboard cut-out of the CTO to keep in the cubicle of whoever last broke the build.¹ All of this pomp and circumstance is fun and it feels good and because it’s all in the name of testing (which is good, right?) it makes you feel like a good programmer even if none of it necessarily contributes to the results your team is supposed to achieve.

All of these flashy traits allow one to adopt the aesthetics of good, diligent software engineering work regardless of how good the work actually is. It’s an intoxicating way to work, especially for someone who struggles with software engineering. It makes you feel like a good programmer and gives you data to “back it up”, stuff you can cite at your performance review. But, software development is really hard, and TDD doesn’t go that far to making it easier. All of the really hard problems are not solved by TDD.

I suspect that coding agents are tapping into the same emotional and psychological reflexes that the cult of TDD gives us an early example of. Software development is still hard, but using an agent allows someone who’s just “so-so” at programming to feel the rush of being great at programming, a rush they might have been chasing for their entire career, and I bet the rush is so much sweeter than watching the lights on your test suite runs tick over to green.

A coding agent permits one to feel as if they have the raw productive power a great programmer can tap into. One may feel like the “10× programmers” they’ve sat next to in the open office for ten years, whose skills they never quite achieved themselves. It scales up the raw output by a factor of ten, and lets one assemble apparently great works in a fraction of the time, solo-coding great cathedrals in the time it used to take them to build, with great difficulty, a homely shack.

But, if it seems too good to be true…

Those cathedrals are not the great works they appear to be. The construction is shoddy and the architecture nonsensical and a great programmer hand-writing code will still outperform any mediocre programmer once the gleam wears off of their respective works and the bugs and problems start showing up. The project has 99.9% coverage on a thousand beautiful green tests, and, inside, the foundations are still rotten.

God, though, I understand why so many people are chasing that dragon, even though it’s going to ruin their careers, and maybe even their lives. I get why people fall for this, in spite of the externalities that they must know of by now. In spite of the colossal waste, the loss of fresh water resources, the fact that AI datacenters are the fastest growing source of carbon emissions, the people suffering sky-rocketing power bill and rolling outages near these new datacenters, the reams and reams of fascist propaganda these machines are producing to tear our society apart, the corruption, the market manipulation, the plain and simple fact that the ultimate purpose of these tools is to put their users out of a job entirely… well, once you finally get a taste of what it feels like to be great… I suppose all of those problems seem so far away.

I have been developing a theory that there might be something about working with a laptop in a cafe that tends to specifically attract people who suck ass. I don't meant that everyone who works with a laptop in a coffee shop is an asshole, but that assholes in Los Angeles might be living the kinds of lives which cause them to cluster there. We have to work in cafes more frequently now because we are spending so much time driving across the city to deal with construction at our house. Maybe this has turned us into pieces of shit, too, but I think we have stiff competition.

In the last few weeks, I've sat next to a whole range of idiots and losers who insist on holding meetings where they utter loathsome shit I never want to hear again in my life. I sat next to a guy who was designing a chatbot for a web storefront. Nobody was engaging with the chatbot, so he spent half an hour in a meeting proposing, over and over again, that they "make engaging with the chatbot seem mandatory" in order to juice the participation numbers. He had to explain this to the call over and over again; I am imagining that everyone else on his team was confused, cautiously asking him why they'd want to lie to their customers about the purchase experience.

I also once sat next to two women in their 20s who were trying to become Substack stars. They spent about two hours discussing television, which seemed to be their industry - unfortunately their opinions were pretty preposterous, and I was forced to listen to them discuss the "rules" around how a character should be killed in a TV show. Their takeaway was basically that all character deaths should be handled like Game of Thrones, which did it the best. They also discussed juicing Substack engagement, which was worrying for me to hear because of the whole Nazi thing. One of them also mentioned in a quick aside that she disapproved!! of Bad Bunny's completely anodyne and sensible pre-Super Bowl statements about the Trump administration's racism. So I think I found the next generation of Nazi-sympathizing TV writers?

All anecdotal evidence, of course, for my theory of cafe shitheads. But it's possible actually that I'd hate a huge percentage of people in this city if I met them through the lens of their work. Maybe the chatbot guy is kind and pleasant to his peers and loved ones, and also simply completely willing to debase himself for a paycheck. Who knows. I've sat next to too many LLM marketing guys to count, which makes me wonder what percent of all the marketing people I've ever known have now been pressed into the service of chatbot companies. In nearly any cafe in Los Angeles I can count on finding at least one guy in his 20s sweating and fretting over the need to extract business value from a large language model. In Westwood I once sat next to a guy who was trying to incompetently and incorrectly explain LLMs to a client, growing increasingly despairing and agitated throughout the conversation. He looked like he hated his work just as much as I hated his work.

I've never felt more depressed about work itself than I have in the last year. I have friends in games and tech who've been joking that they have to, like, retvrn to the soil and do non-digital work to escape the coming rot. But I've heard enough bad stories about workers in physical industries, too, having to interact with systems of control powered by LLMs. Work seems to just be getting worse.

I'm not writing this because I'm despairing and I want you to share in my despair, though. I'm writing this as a sort of memorialization of the moment, because I am fairly confident that the things I'm seeing and hearing in Los Angeles these days are extremely temporal.

This is the 2026 vibe, but things are changing very quickly. Family members are emailing me about their plans to survive the obvious coming financial crash. Videogame hiring has stopped, but nothing viable has yet appeared to fill the void for this industry, and every publisher's 2027 slate is probably looking pretty thin. My friends are all scrambling to stay employed, but they know it's all going to resolve, one way or another, before the end of the year. The people in these cafes are trying desperately to extract value from a dying fad. Everything in politics, too, has the feel of Wiley E. Coyote's feet windmilling before they begin to fall precipitously downward. I am very, very confident that I won't feel exactly this way next year. Whatever I'll be feeling will be very, very different.

chernobog13:

Smaug the dragon from the 1977 animated film The Hobbit.

Sorry I haven't updated the blog for a while: I've been busy. (Writing the final draft of a new novel entirely unconnected to anything else you've read—space opera, new setting, longest thing I've written aside from the big Merchant Princes doorsteps. Now in my agent's inbox while I make notes towards a sequel, if requested.)

Over the past few years I've been naively assuming that while we're ruled by a ruthless kleptocracy, they're not completely evil: aristocracies tend to run on self-interest and try to leave a legacy to their children, which usually means leaving enough peasants around to mow the lawn, wash the dishes, and work the fields.

But my faith in the sanity of the evil overlords has been badly shaken in the past couple of months by the steady drip of WTFery coming out of the USA in general and the Epstein Files in particular, and now there's this somewhat obscure aside, that rips the mask off entirely (Original email on DoJ website ) ...

A document released by the U.S. Department of Justice as part of the Epstein files contains a quote attributed to correspondence involving Jeffrey Epstein that references Bill Gates and a controversial question about "how do we get rid of poor people as a whole."

The passage appears in a written communication included in the DOJ document trove and reads, in part: "I've been thinking a lot about that question that you asked Bill Gates, 'how do we get rid of poor people as a whole,' and I have an answer/comment regarding that for you." The writer then asks to schedule a phone call to discuss the matter further.

As an editor of mine once observed, America is ruled by two political parties: the party of the evil billionaires, and the party of the sane (so slightly less evil) billionaires. Evil billionaires: "let's kill the poor and take all their stuff." Sane billionaires: "hang on, if we kill them all who's going to cook dinner and clean the pool?"

And this seemed plausible ... before it turned out that the CEO class as a whole believe entirely in AI (which, to be clear, is just another marketing grift in the same spirit as cryptocurrencies/blockchain, next-generation nuclear power, real estate backed credit default options, and Dutch tulip bulbs). AI is being sold on the promise of increasing workforce efficiency. And in a world which has been studiously ignoring John Maynard Keynes' 1930 prediction that by 2030 we would only need to work a 15 hour work week, they've drawn an inevitable unwelcome conclusion from this axiom: that there are too many of us. For the past 75 years they've been so focussed on optimizing for efficiency that they no longer understand that efficiency and resilience are inversely related: in order to survive collectively through an energy transition and a time of climate destabilization we need extra capacity, not "right-sized" capacity.

Raise the death rate by removing herd immunity to childhood diseases? That's entirely consistent with "kill the poor". Mass deportation of anyone with the wrong skin colour? The white supremacists will join in enthusiastically, and meanwhile: the deported can die out of sight. Turn disused data centres or amazon warehouses into concentration camps (which are notorious disease breeding grounds)? It's a no-brainer. Start lots of small overseas brushfire wars, escalating to the sort of genocide now being piloted in Gaza by Trump's ally Netanyahu (to emphasize: his strain of Judaism can only be understood as a Jewish expression of white nationalism, throwing off its polite political mask to reveal the death's head of totalitarianism underneath)? It's all part of the program.

Our rulers have gone collectively insane (over a period of decades) and they want to kill us.

The class war has turned hot. And we're all on the losing side.

Snow coming. I'm tuned into the local 24 hour slop weather stream. AI generated, narrated, up to the minute radar and forecast graphics. People popping up on the live weather map with questions "snow soon?" (They pay for the privilege.) LLM generating reply that riffs on their name. Tuned to keep the urgency up, something is always happening somewhere, scanners are pulling the police reports, live webcam description models add verisimilitude to the description of the morning commute. Weather is happening.

In the subtext, climate change is happening. Weather is a growth industry. The guy up in Kentucky coal country who put this thing together is building an empire. He started as just another local news greenscreener. Dropped out and went twitch weather stream. Hyping up tornado days and dicy snow forecasts. Nowcasting, hyper individualized, interacting with chat. Now he's automated it all. On big days when he's getting real views, the bot breaks into his live streams, gives him a break.

Only a few thousand watching this morning yet. Perfect 2026 grade slop. Details never quite right, but close enough to keep on in the background all day. Nobody expects a perfect forecast after all, and it's fed from the National Weather Center discussion too. We still fund those guys? Why bother when a bot can do it?

He knows why he's big in these states, these rural areas. Understands the target audience. Airbrushed AI aesthetics are ok with them, receive no pushback. Flying more under the radar coastally, but weather is big there and getting bigger. The local weather will come for us all.

(Not fiction FYI.)